Dump Dobbs
Oh yes, Lou Dobbs, and believe me when I say you’re getting off easy today. I could pick out any one of the dozens of racist vomitings that drip from your slug mouth every night, but I’d rather talk about what other people are saying about you.
First, from the Huffington Post:
CNN is declining to carry a national advertisement, purchased by two progressive groups, which attacks its host Lou Dobbs for his controversial views on immigration.
If CNN had anything vaguely resembling a soul, they’d dump you on the side of the road and let the vultures feast for years on your carcass. You are, after all, a white supremacist-supporting motherfucker who has made life in this country hell for Latinos undocumented, green-carded and native-born alike.
You’re Richard Nixon and George Wallace reincarnated (and stuffed into the same body). Your “War on the Middle Class” is thinly-disguised agitprop against the poor of this country, especially the dark-skinned ones, and when you talk about ACORN you might as well be shouting it from the head of a lynch mob. I caught you on TV bad-mouthing Chicago the night before the Olympics vote came down, and while the Olympics plan was an unpopular debacle, I’d better not catch you here, ever.
Every single word you choke out on behalf of Normal Middle Class White America echoes “Let’s get that [insert racial slur of choice here – I won’t]!” You’re a poison on this country, and I dream fondly of the day when your eyes roll back in your head and you choke to death on your tongue or however the hell Jabba the Hutt died in Star Wars.
So to summarize, I disagree with CNN’s decision not to run an ad criticizing you.
Although there have been whispers lately that the shame problem might be solved by sending you to a shameless network. There’s idle talk you’re considering jumping ship to Fox News.
(Note to Fox News: Even your viewers can’t be stupid enough to ignore how you’ve been poaching CNN’s conservatives and then complaining about how liberal CNN is. Can they?)
I think it’s a good move for you. For some reason, CNN is still viewed as a credible, nonaligned network instead of the media equivalent of a frightened hamster running frantically on its wheel, trying to crawl into bed with the White House while at the same time fighting off charges of liberal bias by giving airtime to any racist freak with a misspelled sign and a stack of Heritage Foundation checks. (Worth noting is that CNN still considers leftist protesters like the ones at G20 criminals, but that’s an entirely different diatribe.)
So I wholeheartedly endorse a transfer to Fox News. Have them send the crane to lift you out of your studio. I’m sure Bill O’Reilly’s having a tough time pulling double duty as a racist and a sexist anyway. If you show up, he can devote himself full-time to misogyny.
And hey, there’s always the possibility that on your way from one studio to the other, a flock of hungry birds mistakes you for a giant blob of cookie dough and pecks your eyes out. But that’s just gravy.
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